My girlfriend is getting an abortion tonight. Its a surprise.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

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Why did dave not hug his wife? becuase he said she looked horrifying from the war in iraq.

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People who are addicted to brake fluid just can't stop.

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Benjamin Frankin was playing with his Xbox...

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Why did the chicken cross the traffic filled road? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? Chicken delivery.

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So these two girls have a cup .

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A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

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Billy wanted a toy for Christmas. Sadly, Billy died before Christmas.

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No, I had no idea, nor did I know that Nero means Black or Darkness until I searched it up some weeks ago. No, I would never photoshop anything, I mean sure I am the girl/woman thing with the big tits, but that`s like all I got going... Oh and yeah I use glasses sometimes because these contact lenses become itchy after a while and stuff.

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Yo mama is so fat, we are all concerned about her weight.

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Tim is a bald headed prick with an annoying voice and he looks like a clean shaven Walter White if he was on the same drugs that he was making and he looks like he smokes too much because the wrinkles on his forehead look like lips.

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Why was little georgia afraid of the tea cup ? Because she was tripping over the holocaust.

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Q. What do you call a child with no friends or family A. Adopted

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Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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i need a pooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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What did Superman get for Christmas. Nothing as he likes to stay detached from society.

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what do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night and see your tv floating thats odd.

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Your mam is so fat.

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why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops