Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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When will pigs fly? When they grow horns

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what's the difference between a crocodile?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

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A wise man once told me that friends are like cookies. He was a cannibal.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

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What did the Goldfish say to the Black man? Nothing, because Goldfish do not have human-like vocal cords and therefore the Goldfish cannot speak.

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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How do you keep a blond in suspense?

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How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

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Why did the computer explode into a million peices? It was thrown off the Empire State building.

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If I could rearrange the letters of the alphabet.... dklaujeo bnvalue doiandkluq!!

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whats small and looks funny? A baby with a penis sewed to its face.

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The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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Why did the blond get fired from her job at the M&M factory? Because she threw out all the M&M's with W's on them.

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what do u say to a man walking down the street nothing, u shouldnt talk to strangers

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PIED NINNY!

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What's easier than taking candy from a baby? Almost nothing.

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What' worse than random Holocaust jokes? The Holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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