Photons have mass? i didn't even know they were catholic.

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How do you make a fake baby cry -Put batteries in it. How do you make a real baby cry? -Put batteries in it.

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Why was the clock off? Because it was broken

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house... Knock, knock Who's there? The chicken.

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Who is the most vile man in Britain? Jerry Carr, the guy who works at the casino.

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Philosoraptor, turds IM A SPAMBOTz B=Not really, just blind.

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What happened to the boy with cancer? He died.

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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What's big, black, and girls love to ride on? A horse

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

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Why was Hellen Keller afraid to answer the phone? This situation is impossible because Hellen suffered from scarlet fever, therefore she could not see or hear the phone.

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Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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What do you call a mexican who steals toasters? A mexican toaster thief.

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Why was six afraid of 7? Because 7 was a terrorist.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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Your momma is such a slut, that she has unprotected sexual intercouse several times throughout any given day, with many different men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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