Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why is OK SUK WHANG's name on a gravestone? She thought she was way better than okay.

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What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Released some juice and burst its skin.

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jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

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Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Here's a joke for you, my life...

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Why did Charlie eat a baked potato? Because he was hungry.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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Whats brown, sweet, and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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What's the difference between your dog and your mother? Your dog doesn't think you're a disgrace to the family

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Q: What did the black man do at KFC? A: nothing, he ate dinner at home.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What happened to Johnny when he tripped over his shoelace? He was shot by the man who was following him.

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Children + my basement + my finger = yes

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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What did the genie say to the man that rubbed the magic lamp? Nothing, genies don't exist.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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A man walks into a bar…. he then looks around checking to make sure no one saw this abashing action. He sees no one did then plashing a big smile on hst face he begins to strut forward only to trip over an empty can of spray cheese. it is important to note that this spray cheese was low fat

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What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

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How do you get a bear out of tree? You shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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