What is colored and looks good hanging from trees? Oranges. Get your mind out of the gutter!

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Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

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Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Murder his family

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Q:whats big white and falls out of trees A:a refrigerator

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A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens aren't very intelligent and therefore it didn't see the possible dangers that could occur.

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An itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout Down came my dick, and forced the spider out

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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What's the difference between scrambled eggs and scrambled dead babies? I don't like scrambled eggs..

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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WHY WAS 6 AFRAID OF 7? I REALLY DONT KNOW!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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How did Helen Keller burn her hands? On a candle.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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Your mother is so fat, she developed diabetes and was rushed to hospital. She might not make it.

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Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, No Professionals."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops