What's the difference between Barney the dinosaur and Santa? Barney Loves you.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called antee joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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The other day I went to the holocaust museum and it was horrible No air conditioning or cold drinks

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why was the bus company sued? For substandard national safety regulations

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Q: why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: because it was dead.

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Q) What's worse than getting a parking ticket? A) The Black Death

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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A Hispanic was walking down the street, he turned left and was at his house.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed off his entire family.

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Oh, right

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What do you call a kid with down syndrome and no arms? Whatever his name is.

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Two cows were in a feild, one said "moo" and the other said "i was going to say that!"

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A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Numerous different objects because many different things can posses a variety of colors, including the ones listed above.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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Why does a new mother have big jugs? Her baby died of Sudden infant death syndrome.

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One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops