Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the asian bad at sex? Because he was 5 years old

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How did the American man get the Mexican man to jump over the wall? He didn't, after several attempts he then got a ladder and climbed over.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats up with the irish jokes? Honestly im not a alcoholic so all of you can go F*** yourselfs...

thumb_up thumb_down -17

im gay

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many babies can you fit on a ferris wheel? None, babies aren't allowed to ride

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's funny? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did the black guy cross the street? Because his master ordered him to

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats worse than a worm in your apple? the Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: Whats the deifference between me and you A: The fact that im the beautiful one -RDV

thumb_up thumb_down -17

whats white and sticky? a white stick

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's white and smells like crap? An albino tird. Just kidding, Justin Biebers music.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why did Jim get hit by a train? Because he was standing in the tracks.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What do vampires cross the sea in?

thumb_up thumb_down -17

oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

thumb_up thumb_down -17

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What's black and white and red all over? Half a black face and half a white face after going through a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -17

What worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops