Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Your mums a potato

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What's scarier than a ghost? Practically anything as ghosts aren't real.

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What do you get when a black man crosses a white man on the street? A black man and a white man on the street..

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? He said : "where's my tractor?!"

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

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What did the rabbit say to the man nothing animals cant talk

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

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Q: what did the grandmother give to her grandson. A: a lightbulb

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Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

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Q: Suzy loves apples she will o anything to get her hands on an apple. A: You guys are so gullible!!! She DID eat Tom's apple. ...... then he killed her.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Why do blondes where knickers? to keep their ankles warm

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Your boat breaks down on the highway. How many squirrels does it take to eat a bannana? Squirrels do not eat bannanas but it would probably take a monkey 1.5 milliseconds.

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Whats bloody and is dead. My son.

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A dwarf walked into a pizza shop and ordered a large pepperoni pizza advertised as $12.50. He gave some money to the man behind the counter who then said, "Sir, you're a little short." The dwarf replied, "My apologies, I thought I had given you a twenty." He gave the man behind the counter the difference he owed, took his pizza and left.

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What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

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"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

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alert("Hello");

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops