What smells like old people and is white? Talcum Powder.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the convict on death row? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the Black man say to the prostitute? Your job makes the risks of getting AIDs and other STDs much higher than the average person's.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

"Hey, do you guys wanna hear a joke?!" -no, shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a purple apple? Bruised.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They beat her mercilessly.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Green paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You just sunk my battleship! 5,000 people just perished at the bottom the ocean in a war for pointless political reasons.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what hurts more than getting shot in the arm Getting shot in both arms!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is there no Asprin in the rainforest? Because it's financially viable to sell pharmesuticals in the vast, unpopulated rainforest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

One day, a guy wanted to know if all blondes really were dumb. He gathered a stadium full of blondes, picked one out of the blondes and said,"I will ask you a few questions. First, what is 23+12?" The blonde replied,"Uh, 30." The other blondes said,"Give her another chance!" "Alright. Next question. What is 30+30?" Said the inquirer. The blonde answered, "Oh! 300!" "Give her another chance!" The blonde crowd shouted. "Alright but this is the last question. What is 1+1?" The blonde answered, "2." The blonde crowd roared, "Give her another chance!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

David shut the fuck up your cat has asthma and i dropped a weight on its little fucking head that pikey should of drowned it furthermore your sister looks like a greasy alien

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops