What do you call a black person who can't see? Blind

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Q: How do you kill a goblin if the fries are next to the sushi? A: Yes. Walruses have nostrils and rubber chickens don't like microwaves!

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What do you call a Muslim flying a plane? A pilot

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Want to hear a funny joke? Not really.

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Why is my lawn red? Because i forgot to tell my neighbor's children to move

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

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What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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Yo mammas so fat you know what, i think she might die!!

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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What did the doctor say to the obese person? You have diabetes.

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How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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One day a boy asks his teacher what blue velvet is then the teacher says "we don't ask questions like that in my class go to principal's office now"so the boy goes to the principal's office and then the boy asks "what is blue velvet"then the principal says"no one says that in my school get out" so the boy goes home and asks his mom what is blue velvet then his mom says you don't say stuff like that in my house get out!so the boy see's the Mayer. So the boy asks the Mayer what blue velvet is then the Mayer says no one says that in my town get out of my town! So the boy see's a man and the boy goes to the man and the man asks what happend to you and the boy says well I got kicked out of school kicked out of my house and got thrown out of town just because i asked what blue velvet is! So the man tells the boy that there is a lady across the street. So the boy is in the road and then the boy gets ran over and dies. So the lesson here is look both ways before crossing a street

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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