A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I just found out my wife has cervical cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Have you seen stevie wonders house? neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your momma's so fat, she's at risk of a number of cardio-vascular problems, including high blood pressure, leading to heart disease, stroke, type II diabetes, and a premature death. She also has an elevated risk of contracting cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the boy say when be landed in the bottom of the well, nothing he was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde girl gets in a bad car accident . A man stops on the side of the road to help her . She is panicking The man gets out a piece of chalk and draw a small circle. He says "Do not step out of this circle" The man smashes her car with a baseball bat She giggles He rolls her car down the hill, She laughs Her car is on fire , She is cracking up He yells " WHAT IS SO FUNNY " She says , "I stepped out of the circle three times when you weren't looking"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's pink and when you press a button it turns red? A baby in a blender. What's pink and when you hit it against the wall sounds metallic? A baby with two forks stuck in its eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

pudding

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many Jews can you fit in a car? 10. 3 in back, 2 up front and the rest in the ash tray.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the black man tangled in chains at the bottom of the ocean? Because he was a highly skilled diver and environmentalist who tragically entangled himself and consequently died slowly and painfully of suffocation while trying to save a whale from eating waste metal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: Whats pointy and sharp and rhymes with life? A: A spear. It's close enough.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesse uses a prescription shampoo called " greasey poop" because he feels like his hair doesnt look greasy enough. He cries himself asleep every night because he wants a slim body like the rest of the cool kids, so he eats his pain away, which digs him an even deeper hole. the life of Jesse zigenbein is quite tragic to say the least. Please donate 10$ to the "eat ourselves to sleep" campaign

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Phoebe: Joey, it's a birthday party. Joey: Yeah, but for a one year old. What's the point? The other day, she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow. And the cow says...."Elmoooo!" Joey: *starts to laugh* Yeah...that's a funny cup.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

When A White Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Claps When A Black Man Sees A Magic Trick - He Does Handstands, Celebrations, And Shouts

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There are two angry guys in a park on their lunch break What do they do? They eat their sandwich and go back to work to settle a peace treaty.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Find x X + 2 = 5 ^ I found it

thumb_up thumb_down +10

4 Jews are killed during a car accident, the whole city mourns over there death and create a plaque in their honor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? "Robin, get in the batmobile!"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: why is halloween scary? A: because your there!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops