Knock knock. Who's there? Conscience. Conscience who? Oh, sorry about that Hitler, you wouldn't know who I am.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's better if you don't understand

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What is older than history?

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Q:Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? A:He slipped and fell. Q2:Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A2:He was stapled to the first monkey. Q3:Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? A3:Peer pressure.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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What nickname do you give Harrison Kinney if he is good at remixing music? Harrison "Remix" Kinney

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Roses are black Violets are black I lost my eyesight at two years old and all I see is black.

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One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

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Me: Knock Knock Mom: Who's there? Me: Jason Mom: Jason who Jason: HOW COULD YOU FORGET ME I CAN'T BELRIVE YOUR ALZHEIMER'S HAS GOTTEN THAT BAD! WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN TO ME BWAAA! *Jason sadly died short after from a bus hitting him*

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? feel the other side of the worm in his mouth

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it had Alzheimers and forgot that he lived on the other side of the street.

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Tiny timmy likes timmy turner in his time of tingling on christmas.

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An African American walks into a bar. The bar tender is a racist, so he asks the African American gentleman to leave.

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When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

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What is long, hard, and full of seamen? a school bus, if you consider children to be seamen

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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did you hear the one about the gay child molester?

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Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops