What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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When life gives you lemon, Squeeze lemon juice in life's eyes Rape it And demand oranges

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whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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There are 3 types of people, those that can count and those who can not.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Why was bobby late for school? Because he drove off a bridge.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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Why did Jane break up with DeShawn? Cause they grew apart

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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why did the semen cross the road? i wore the wrong sock today.

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Knock knock who's there? Boo. Boo who? Uh, Boo Johnson, your next door neighbor. Forget it I'll come another day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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Q: Why can't dinosaurs talk? A: Because they're all dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops