Three men are sitting in a tub. One of them says "Toss me the soap." The second one says "Toss me the shampoo." The third one says "Toss me the toaster."

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whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

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An Asian, white, and a black man decide to play Russian Roulette. The Asian goes first and shoots himself in the head. The white man picks up the gun for his turn. The black man runs down the street screaming. Cops see him and the white man holding the gun, both are sent to jail for life for the murder of their friend.

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whats purple and not a rapist barney, I lied about the rapist part

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It was a boys birthday, his mom died of cancer, his dad of aids, and all of his siblings were put in a gas chamber. Happy Birthday

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What is big has a red nose and is funny Don't ask me I have never been out of my house

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

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Q:What does a black guy say when you steal his fried chicken right in front of him? A:"please restrain from taking food that does not belong to you. If you had kindly asked i would have kindly given you some, and right in front of me too! In all my life I've never seen such rudeness and i grew up in the Bronx."

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

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knock knock who's there... you you who who the fuck are you

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what did johnny's dad say to him after his baseball game? nothing because johnny's dad was an abusive alcoholic who beat him until the neighbors found out and called the police. the dad was arrested, tried in court then promptly thrown in jail were he was raped in the showers repeatedly by a very large and intimidating black man. he vomited suicide in his cell today by drinking drain cleaner

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Q. How many alzhimers patients dose it take to screw in a light bulb? A. To get to the other side

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? JUST LET ME IN!

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What do you call a 5 year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor

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Knock knock Who's there? Dishes Dishes who? Dishes a bad joke

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I was having sex with thisgirl and now I'm going to be a dad. All because I didn't wear a condom

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What do you call a Black Man in the ocean? A scuba diver

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What do you tell a women with two black eyes? Nothing, you've already told her twice..

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Ferrari? I ain't got a Ferrari in my car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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