How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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Your mother is so fat that LOWERLOWEOROLWERLOWEH OIRH OWER IOWEJ OR OIJWE :JWEJKLR

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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wanna know the biggest joke on antijoke.com? People's spelling.

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Knock knock Who's there Done Done who? Done with waiting out here, let me in you dick!

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Where were guinea pigs created? Probably in Guinea Land or something.

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If John had 4 apples and gave 2 to Mary, what is the circumference of the sun?

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what would your nan do if she was alive right now? scratching the top of the coffin.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? She had no arms and legs Knock knock Who's there? Not Lucy

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm homosexual And so is my boyfriend Jeremy, with whom I have shared countless evenings of joy and laughter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Where it had just witnessed a horrific car accident involving it's spouse, who died on impact. Eventually the chicken fell into a deep depression, taking it out on his children in the form of physical abuse. Over time, the chicken ended up being alone, having no contact with his kids, having no friends, and living in a massive house with no one else. One day, he had a stroke, and no one called an ambulance because no one knew.

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Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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mark is religion

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What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

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test test

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What's black and white, and red all over? Nothing, those two events are mutually exclusive of each other.

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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a blonde girl gets behind the wheel of a car. and drives to her community college for her morning class

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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