A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

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European on my shoes, buddy.

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I took a shower yesterday. You have no idea how hard it was sneaking that thing out of Home Depot.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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What's more likely to happen in 2011 than the rapture? Finding my real parents.

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I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

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What is the biggest lie that's still close to the truth? You came out of your momma's asshole.

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What's grey and can't fly? A castle

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How do you keep black people from your Kool-aid? How? You put it in a safe-deposit box.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally raped and murder six's parents whilst six hid in the closet and watched.

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A Russian man walks out of a bar looking very sober because he walked out of the bar sober.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Why was the boy put on his socks? So he wouldn't get blisters.

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You know you guys are suppose to post jokes, not basketball comments.

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What's your guys names?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops