- Anti Joke

What's the difference between humans and dogs? 4.

How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

Roses are red Violets are Blue Let's just screw

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

Why was the man picking his nose? Because he was born without one, and found one he liked.

Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

poopy is poopy

Knock Knock No one's home Okay, I'll come back later.

Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

If I had a nickel for everyday I lived...... I would get a nickel a day

Many years ago in the country of France there was this poor conductor who worked a route on a train. He traveled this route every day and every 3 years on the same day a wealthy young lady would get on and starts sit in the seat right behind him. After 3 years have passed he finally picks up the courage to talk to her and they fall in love. They don’t see each other for 3 years. When the poor conductor finally sees her again he is so intoxicated by her beauty he asks the rich lady to marry him. The rich lady said that she can't possibly marry him because he simply doesn't have enough money for her to continue to live her extravagant lifestyle. So he asks the rich lady to give him just 3 years to get enough money and she agrees. So, for 3 long years the poor conductor doesn't eat any breakfast at all. He saved all the money that he would spend on food for breakfast and when finally the 3 years was up, He asked the rich lady to marry him again. The rich lady said that he still doesn't have enough money for her to continue living her current lifestyle. So, again he begs her to just wait 3 more years and he would have enough money. For the next 3 years, the poor conductor doesn't eat breakfast or lunch. This whole time he had been saving all the money he would have spent on breakfast and lunch to try and get the rich lady to marry him. After these 3 years were over, he meets her again and asks her to marry him and again she declines because he just doesn't have enough money for her. The poor conductor, still madly in love, asks for once last chance to get the money so they could get married. At first the rich lady declines buy after his begging and pleading the rich lady agrees to meet him again in 3 years when he promised he would have enough money for her. The poor conductor desperate to gain the rich lady’s love decides to give up breakfast, lunch and dinner for the next 3 years, living off just water and bread. He is certain that after 9 years of saving money he will have enough for her when they finally meet again. After the 3 years are up the poor conductor is a broken man clinging desperately onto the dream of marrying the rich lady. When they meet he gets down on his hands and knees and asks for her hand in marriage. The rich lady declines his offer since he still was not rich enough for her. The conductor snaps and ends up mutilating her so is sent to jail. He sat his trail where he was sentenced to death by electrocution for his actions. After his trial was over and he was waiting to be electrocuted, the prison guard comes in and says that this was to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. The poor conductor hadn't eaten anything but bread for 3 years so he asks for his favorite dinner, a good old American Thanksgiving meal with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, cranberry sauce, a piece of pumpkin pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar; and so he ate his turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, and ate the piece of pumpkin pie, drank his cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The next morning, the prison guard came to take him to be electrocuted, but when they flipped the switch nothing happened! They took the prisoner back to the cell and checked the electric chair and found nothing wrong. That day the Prison guard came back and said that this was going to be his last meal on earth and asked what he wanted. So the poor conductor thought for a while before deciding on his favorite dish for lunch: Roast beef, corn, mashed potatoes, a piece of apple pie, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. So he ate the roast beef, the corn, and the mashed potatoes. He ate the apple pie, drank the cup of black coffee, and smoked the cigar. The following morning, the prison guard came to take him away to the electric chair. After he was put in they flipped the switch and nothing happened again. So they took him back to his cell to figure out what happened. They decided something must be wrong with the chair so they moved the prisoner to another prison over night to carry out his sentence. So the next morning the prison guard came to see what he wanted to eat for his last meal on earth, and the prisoner said that he wanted his favorite breakfast for his last meal. So he had a huge stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs sunny side up with bacon and sausage, a cup of black coffee, and a cigar. And so he ate the hug stack of pancakes with real maple syrup, eggs with bacon and sausage, drank the coffee and smoked the cigar. He then walked down to electric chair and they flipped the switch and nothing happened. By this time the prison guards were totally boggled and confused. They checked the chair and it was perfectly fine. They checked the electricity and it was working in perfect order yet try as they might they couldn't kill the man. Perplexed the guard said to the prisoner “That chair contains enough electricity to kill 10 men. How have you survived the it not once, not twice but three times?” And so the guy in the chair replied. 'I tried to tell you before that I'm a poor conductor.'

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she was clumsy. Nevertheless the accident was minor and she did not injure the arms that she had.

2 black people and a mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The black person because they decided it would save gas if they all carpooled to their job.

what did the cashier do when a Mexican robbed the store? call the police

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupter. Interrupter who? Interrupter Jones.

A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

Why is there a rock in a boy's foot? He wasn't weraing shoes.

If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

I like my coffee the way I like Christina Aguilera - I don't.

nolan is gay

A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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