Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the only animal that has to be oiled? any animal I can think of

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being hit by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do eagles and chetos have in common....... they both can fly except for the chetos

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you blindfold an asian? step 1: Fold your blindfold into a triangle step 2: Wrap blindfold around the head of the asian step 3: Tie the blindfold on the back of the asians head step 5: You forgot 4 step 6: Your finished step 4: Tighten the blindfold Now you know how to blindfold an asian ˜´??

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a person who walks but doesn't run? A power walker What do you call a person who runs but doesn't walk? Someone running to the nearest bathroom holding there crotch.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Uber Driver: "Hey I'm close, where are you?" Me: "oh, I see you!" Uber Driver: "Are you that guy in the middle of the road?" Me: "yeah, floor it"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I like my coffee like I like my women. Ground up and in the freezer

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the girl drop her vannlia ice cream? Vannlia Ice punched her for being cool as ice.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a fat kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A blonde walked into a bank. She deposited her check, thanked the teller, and promptly left.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man didn't feel well so he went to the toilet. He had explosive diahrria, then felt better.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the dead chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops