A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue... Hold on. Roses could be white too.

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Sometimes Jamie wishes he could be a different person. He wishes he didnt have to eat dick everynight but it was all to late. He had to take it down the throat but he enjoyed the tickle it gave him

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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What is long, hard, cries a lot, and can't fall down a man-hole? A baby with a javelin through its neck.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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There once was a man from Nantucket He decided to sail to Portland Now he lives in Portland.

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How did Pablo get into America from Mexico? He drove here!

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What computer sings the best? A Dell? No a Mac, because they are the superior computer.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Two guys walked into a pub... and they totally redecorated it! It was brilliant.

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Women's rights.

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mexicans fishing

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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The Princess is in another castle

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What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

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Why do so many people enjoy these jokes. They are funny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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