Why did the man get in a car accident? Because he was blind.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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Why did the man walk up to a bank teller with a gun? He is the security guard; he wanted to ask her for financial advice.

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Knock Knock Who's there Doctor Doctor Who

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What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

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Hey ask me if i'm a train? Are you a train? No...

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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CUT MY SOUL INTO PIECES MY NAME IS VOLDEMORT TERMINATION YOU'RE BLEEDING DON'T GIVE A F**K IF I HAVE NO NOSE FOR BREATHING

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how do you make a baby float? you take your foot off its head

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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How did Nissan show its new car in there commircals By driving very fast and hitting fat kids $

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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What is sticky and smelly - a stick

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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Why couldn't the dinosaur sing? Because dinosaurs are extinct

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What do you get when you cross a Mexican and an African? A baby.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was drunk.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead got into a street fight. who won? The redhead because she had a gun.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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three lesbians on a plane they were all responsible and had sex when they got home and not on the plane

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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