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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

An Irishman, a German, a Jew, and a Mexican walk into a bar...... the Irishman is named designated driver and all four have a safe and enjoyable evening.

How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication

What's the difference between 10 dead baby's and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Presents.

Why did the house burn down? Obama

A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

roses are red violets are blue What smells like poo? Your waffle's blue

It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum... ...and I'm all out of ass but still have plenty of bubblegum to sit down and chew in a quiet and leisurely manner.

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

What do you call a fucking idiotic douchebag with ebola? An ebloa paitent

Gustavo Andrade

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

How is a monkey like a bicycle? They can both climb trees. Except for the bicycle.

A man walked into a bar owch

What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

Roses are red Violets are blue some poems rhyme this one doesn't

What song did Buddy the elf sing for Santa on his birthday? Happy birthday

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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