How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There was 3 friends named Crap, Manners, and Shut up. They all had mental mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because a black man was chasing his dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Roses are red, Violets are blue Oh, that's good to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats worse than finding a worm in your penis having your wife bite of your penis and die from an infecction

thumb_up thumb_down +7

yo mama just like a toilet, white and full of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

theres a taco and a blonde...who eats who? the blonde eats the taco.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Okay, after this one then...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the zombie eat bob because bob was delicious

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the dog cross the road? To eat the chicken. Why did the police officer cross the road? To tranquilize the dog and the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was the snowman afraid of the sun? Because he would melt that day and die

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock eater What's purple and eats rocks? It hasn't been discovered by science yet...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What are the last words of a child dieing of cancer ? Nothing because he is to ill to speak

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you catch a baby with? A pitchfork

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops