Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

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How do you make a baby cry Throw a brick at its face

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What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in a bin? Finding one is missing.

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why couldnt luke open the door? he had no arms

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Some anti-jokes are funny, some are not!

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Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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Why was Billy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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If you were expecting an antijoke you have come to the wrong place however here is a good recipe for a cake: Ingredients 2-1/2 cups 2% milk 1 cup butter, cubed 8 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 3 eggs 2 teaspoons vanilla extract 2-2/3 cups all-purpose flour 2 cups sugar 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/2 teaspoon salt FILLING: 6 tablespoons butter, cubed 4 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped 2-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar 1/2 cup heavy whipping cream GANACHE: 10 ounces semisweet chocolate, chopped 2/3 cup heavy whipping cream Directions In a large saucepan, cook the milk, butter and chocolate over low heat until melted. Remove from the heat; let stand for 10 minutes. Preheat oven to 325°. In a large bowl, beat eggs and vanilla; stir in chocolate mixture until smooth. Combine the flour, sugar, baking soda and salt; gradually add to chocolate mixture and mix well (batter will be thin). Transfer to three greased and floured 9-in. round baking pans. Bake 25-30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes before removing from pans to wire racks to cool completely. For filling, in a small saucepan, melt butter and chocolate. Stir in confectioners' sugar and cream until smooth. For ganache, place chocolate in a small bowl. In a small saucepan, bring cream just to a boil. Pour over chocolate; whisk until smooth. Cool, stirring occasionally, until ganache reaches a spreading consistency. Place one cake layer on a serving plate; spread with half of the filling. Repeat layers. Top with remaining cake layer. Spread ganache over top and sides of cake. Store in the refrigerator. Yield: 16 servings.

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What do you call a black man being raped by 6 members of the Ku Klux Klan? Rape

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-Look! Up in the sky! -It's a bird! -Yep.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

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Knock, Knock. Lol jk, we all know knock knock jokes fricken suck.

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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What's the most confusing day in the ghetto? Fathers day.

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What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Ask me if I'm a tree I don't need to, because I know you're not a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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