what do you call a Palestinian with a large blade at the throat of an Israeli? a barber

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What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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Alex watched his grandfather tear up as he told him the terrors of the Holocaust. Apparently killing Jews is hard on people.

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a man walked into a bar and said ow

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

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how did the homeless man die? He got stabbed

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The fact that you actually took time to read this cynically hypnotizing answer that you cannot seem to stop reading even though you know that this sentence is just a clever run to show the epitomy of the anti joke. ha-ha.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I will ask you one question, and that will determine whether you can enter Heaven. Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" "No," the man replies, "I always made sure to apologize." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Why did the jew cross the road Because he was being cornered by 10 nazis that had automatic guns

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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What did the scuba diver say to his partner when he got stuck in some seaweed. Something that sort of sounded like glug, or maybe blub, or some other sound you would hear trying to talk underwater.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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