Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's the difference between an American and a Russian? One's American and one's Russian.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why are some people so good at basketball? Because they are all black.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is white and flies upwards? A retarded Snowflake.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you fit 94 jews in a volkswagon? two in the front, three in the back, and 89 in the ash tray

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's brown and sits in the woods? Winnie's poo

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A young boy is crying in the park, when priest walks up to him -What's the matter son? -My parents died in a horrible car accident 2 weeks ago and now i'm held in an abusive household.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

In Soviet Russia, this joke is an anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

why did the koala fall out of the tree? it was shot. why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one. why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? it thought they were playing a game. why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? it thought it was a koala. why'd the man fall of his bike? it was hit by 3 koala's and a refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So two men were drinking beer and one asks "Why are you so sad today, Lenny?" The other man replies "Because I was just diagnosed leukemia." Four days later Lenny dies and his body was buried at Cherryhill Cemetery where his family mourned over his death.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock-Knock Who's there? A giant spider-like insect that lays eggs in your brain which turn into larvae that drop down onto your tongue and eat your teeth slowly, then form a cocoon and turn into the spider-like insect spoken of previously. You then wake up from this terrible nightmare and get ready for your well paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did one apple say to the other???? Well, since they are fruits, and not people, they were unable to talk...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the black man say when he met a white man in the street? "Hello, how are you?"

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How many unicorns does it take to change a lightbulb? Unicorns do not use lightbulbs, their technology (magic) is way too advanced to waste fossil fuels and pollute the air. Also, you can't change a lightbulb with hooves. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why was it raining lobsters? Because they ran out of men. Why did the basketball player miss the net? Because he was hit by a lobster

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Hi, this is luke. Luke, I am your father. I burned my father's body after he died saving my life on a large space station. You're not my father, stop calling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops