Why did the baby stop crying? I shot it with a 9mm pistol and put it in the microwave because it cried while I was watching Sienfeld.

Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses the best ingredients.

black people

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

What is black and blue and red all over? A woman that just learned a valuable lesson.

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

Why didnt the poor black man have cell phone service? Because seven eight nine.

What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

Do you know what a rhino really is? It is a really fat and oversized unicorn

A mexican walks out a mexican restaurant.

What's the best thing about shrimp? It never goes bad.

If you add two 1's together its 11 if you add two 2's together its 22 If you add two 3's together its 33 So what happens if you add 4 and 4? No you dumb-ass its not 44, its 8

What did the Momma Kangaroo say when she couldnt find her baby?

What's worse than losing a contact Having a bloody stool

What did it say on the banner for an international dyslexics support group? Dyslexics of the world unite.

How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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