why did the man have an axe in his car he kills children with it

Matthew Wyckoff

If Spongebob lives in Bikini Bottom, Where is Bikini Top?

Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

Why did the owl visit the hospital? His mom was dying of luekemia.

a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

What do you do when life throws lemons at you? Take out your lemon shield and retreat deep into your lemon proof bunker.

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

Why is Short Circuit the best movie ever made? Because it tastes like lemons

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey

Three left giraffe testicles fell out of the sky and into a woman's grocery bag. "Did you know that 16 people die from dolphin rape every year? said Adolf Hitler as he began eating a horse.

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

Why did the tornado cross the road? Because it's a tornado, that's what tornadoes do.

Knock knock *open*

Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

What did the German girl say to me? entschuldigen Sie (excuse me)

What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

Knock Knock Who's there? Eat a d!ck you sh!t fukk! I'm going have to ask you leave now

Why did the astronaut drop his toolbox? Because he ran out of air.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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