Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A blonde, brunette, and red-head were on a deserted island. The blonde said, "in thirty years or so, we'll all have gray hair."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you just fall from heaven? If not I'm gonna beat the shit out of you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Children + my basement + my finger = yes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a black woman in a pool? Drowning.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I can't wait to eat this bagel! Yes you can. Yeah, I guess you're right.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

roses are red, violets are blue. you've got Alzheimer's, it sucks to be you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Large 4

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay boys house. Knock knock! whose there? The chicken!!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ps. I am getting green thumbs, which is weird, I never even expected for anyone to even bother to read my fucking long comments,but then again... As my wife said, " I am not pissed at the fact that members of my movement dont depend too much of my advice in order to get along in life for nothing". True, while horsehead network might mock me, and my "blood family hate and/or fear me" It takes only a look into my wife`s eyes to feel like a God... All while I got many thousand members of Neronism worldwide waiting for me to cope with my past so they can worship me (which pisses me off, it was never my intention, I give them life advice on how to shape their own life, not on how to cling to me). Nero: Neronism, look it up, join me, stop looking for the answers in religion, but stand up for yourself and realize that there is no reason to wait for life after death, when we together, can create heaven on earth. Yes esteemed members, I am back on my feet, and I am wearing my ortopedic arm made of steel again, consider it symbolism. Its free btw, your money is worthless to me, if you choose to see life for what it is in the eyes of a true human being, then you on the other hand, are worth as much as I am... What I am worth is something I will leave up to your opinion, because sure as fuck if I dont consider myself better than people most already. Its time to push forward again, led by a fist of steel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

thumb_up thumb_down -7

There are two muffins sitting in an oven. One muffin says "It sure is hot in here." The other muffin says "Holy shit a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A lysdexic man trys to rite a joek... the people who tried reading it got confused and offered help in rewriting it.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops