3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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Did you know Hellen Keller had a swingset? No I didn't. Ya it was actually really nice.

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What's as hard as a rock? A rock

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A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

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Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

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What killed Hitler? His gas bill.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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why did victor sell half of club getaway because he wants a partner why did david buy the half because victors dying

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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why doesnt john lipka have a job? because the unemployment rate is high these days.

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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