What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the Fish say to the other Fish? Nothing, fish cant talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

ok guys finish this joke: Im the biggest fag-got because_____________.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is funnier than a dead baby? almost everything. there is nothing funny about a dead baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

thumb_up thumb_down +31

your mama so fat she has a low self esteem

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you end a sentence

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops