What do you call 55,000 clowns exiting a small car? Fiction.

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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How do you starve a zombie? You dont, they are allready dead.

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So my girlfriend comes back from Jamaica this weekend. There are as many hairs per square inch on your body as a chimpanzee.

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Q: Why did the Creeper explode? A: Cause you invaded and took his land that was rightfully his. He's not the monster, You are!

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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What's more annoying than reading a joke you can't understand? ?????

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He lived a long, full life. Outside of Nantucket. But he visited occasionally.

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What did the plane say to the twin towers on 9/11 - Nothing, how do you expect planes to talk, stop hallucinating and stop with the drugs

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A Jew walks into a bar. It's a bar full of Neo-Nazis.

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A black man and a mexican jump of a building to see who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society.

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Why did the Cookie Monster go to the Doctor? Because He had an inoperable tumor in his lower intestinal tract.

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Why? Because.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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my wife came out of the kitchen....

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whats funnier then a joke on anit jokes pracitcally anything cause anti jokes repaeats and everyone has herd them

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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Simon says why the hell are we playing Simon say!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing? Sally's a fish.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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i like candy and other things that are edible... please dont thumbs down just cuz this suxxx just put thumbs up and santa claus will haunt u :)

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Remember that part where Jesus gets angry at a fig three and kills it because it "was lazy" for refusing to grow figs at winter? Brother Jeez, that was kinda mean man! You know it was winter rite? Anti Joke or not, that part is funny, so if Jesus returns and wants you to make him a sammich you better go get that goddamn sammich!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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