A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and Luke Skywalker? Luke met his real father

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What is the connection between a blonde and a halogen headlamp? There is none, one is a female human being with blonde hair and the other is a headlamp with a halogen lightbulb.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Whats cooler than cool? nothing because cool does not have a defined temperature therefore nothing can be cooler than it.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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Why did the police officer beat the black man? Because the Internet is able to connect a variety of different types of people together and the off-duty police officer was slightly better at the multiplayer game they were playing.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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roses are red, violets are blue with a face like yours, you belong in a zoo but don't worry, cos I'll be there too not in the cage but laughing at you!

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What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? A porcupine has it's pricks on the outside. A BMW doesn't have pricks on it's bodywork, for a multitude of reasons: - it would increase the coefficient of drag, causing an increase in fuel consumption - the pricks would fall foul of pedestrian safety regulations

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two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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A kid had wild unprotected sex. He didn't get an STD or enpregnate the girl.

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Whats green and can kill you when it falls from a tree? a pool table

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A man walks into a bar. The ceiling was ringed with dozens of TV’s, much like your average sports bar. Unlike your average sports bar however, the TV’s were not featuring athletic competition. That is unless you consider vigorous and explicit gay sex between men hung like Tijuana mules to be a sport.

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't care! What are you doing in my house?

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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I asked her where you were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops