Why did the the chicken cross the road? So he wouldn't be late for his annual check up at the clinic across the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man goes to the hospital he says to the doctor while poking his leg it hurts here. Then he pokes his arm and here. Then his head and here. "Yes" the doctor says you've broken your finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +31

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why did the kid fall down the stairs? he had polio

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is worse then falling into a lava pit? Nothing you idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

thumb_up thumb_down +29

whats worse than loseing your dog? getting raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Woman does it take to change a lightbulb? none they had a back up lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops