Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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Stevie Wonders said to his friend, "Have you seen my house?" "No" "Neither have I"

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Q: What do you call cheese that's not your own? A: Someone else's cheese

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What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

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Why didn't the boy's parents throw him a birthday party? Because his father is in jail for drug possession and his mother is dead.

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Whats the difference between a penis and a vagina? Pancakes,

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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Darnell has a 2 ounce gold chain around his neck. Gold is worth $1,639 per ounce. Where did Darnell steal the gold chain from?

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

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fi uoy nac daer siht sdrawkcab uoy tsuj daer siht sdrawkcab

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

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why did the little boy drop his ice cream cone? because he was hit by the planes that hit twin towers

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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An SQL query walks into a bar, sees two tables and asks if it can join them.

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Q: What do you call those assholes who always volunteer in lectures? A: Assholes. Fcuking assholes. They created the word asshole. Assholes

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops