One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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Ask me if im a tree? No

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"You're not very subtle, are you?" asked Nyacinth of the Prince. "Coo-fif," replied the Prince, a sly smile on his face.

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The Yak, a long-coated bovine found in the Himalayas, is named for its distinct call, which sounds similar to "yak-yak-yakyak".

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

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Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Why did the fox cross the road? To chew on the chicken carcass.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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why did the computer monitor stop working? Becasue it has a date with a slice of cheese.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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I hate it when I press submit, and I forgot to finish the jo

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Why did the man throw his son out the window? His house was on fire

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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That's illegal What? Your mom

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Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

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What do you call a sausage with no sauce? A giraffe.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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What did the blind and deaf kid get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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