Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why do Jews fast for Yom Kippur? It's part of their tradition.

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wanna hear a better joke? casey.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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What's the difference between a leopard and a coffee table? There is no difference. They both have four legs.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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A wife says to her husband "Everybody's coming over tonight, I want you to dress nice." *logically this cannot happen because there is no way that this couples residence can fit all 6 or so billion people in the world, nor would they want to.

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Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

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How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

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Q: Why are black people black? A: Cause they're from Africa.

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Q: what's green and fluffy? A: green fluff

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What's the new green? Green

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why was the toddler sad? he was diagnosed with cancer after his dog was put down because it raped and murdered his parents

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How do you stop a car from hitting a kid? You don't.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, Who the hell are you,Get the hell away

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why dont you ever run over a black guy thats on a bike? because you will be sewed and also probably have the shit kicked out of you

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What's Donald Trump's favorite color? Green.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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