My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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I just flew in from Seattle, and boy is their airport difficult to navigate.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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the power to turn magnetism into light

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Knock knock... Home invasion

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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Should a pole bump an alarm?

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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A man walks into a bar hes later assassinated and mourned by his family.

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-Have you ever seen an elephant hidden behind a thread? -No. -How come you're seeing it, he's hidden.

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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What did the Little 8 year old boy do when a big black man walked into his house? He said "Hi daddy", then they happily ate dinner together.

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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What's red and funny? The holocaust

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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More mindfuck: Your school is betraying you edition. How are you going to feel good about yourself, if you have to UNDER STAND everything you learn? Moral: If you dont get it, you are not ready.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because death was certain if it didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops