Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. Many consider him a musical hero.

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Q: Why did the dog bark? A: it cant talk.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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A guy walked into a bar, ouch.

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joe galasso from plainview ny

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Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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if you are reading this your wasting your time

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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whats the best part about ebola? nothing ebola is a dangerous virus

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

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a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy walked into a bar. It was an interracial bar, and served men and women of all nationalities.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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why did the baby fall down the stairs? i pushed it.

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Your mom came to my house last night. We played chess.

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What is worse than the holocaust. A worm in MY apple!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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