What's red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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What did the homeless man say to bill gates? Nothing he was about to die.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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blargen fa-diddle nachen!

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Why was the broom late? Cause he overSWEPT!!! ahahahahahaha!

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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whats long ,hard and full of sea men ? a sumureen

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A man walks into the bar and orders a drink. This is what you do in a bar.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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Q: what do you call a boy with no arms and an eye patch? A: names

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What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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One time, as a dare, John was forced to eat 5 king size chocolate bars, 3 cakes, 8 Oreo Milkshakes, and 7 packages of Krispy Kreme Donuts. As a result, John has diabetes.

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a duck walks up to a lemonade stand. thats impossible, because nature says that ducks cannot walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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