Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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what do you call a baby with no arms and no legs in a mailbox? a horriffic murder

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

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Hey i just met you, and this us crazy! Heres some toilet paper, wipe my ass maybe?

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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Lol, thats funny, sorry for asking, but is your eye doing better? Was their IQ test the same one you get when you enter their site?

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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Michael Vick walks into a pet shop. He buys a puppy and cares for it lovingly

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Just friends, they too pretend to be you and copy the way you write and express yourself, I told them to stop though, Azure threatened someone here a cultist of sorts I think, that does not exactly put us in a better light with the people that where getting our messages, and yes they are coded, I sincerely had no idea though,

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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Is it a bird, is it a plane?! No it's.... It's a bird.

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Yo mama so fat she at the rest of this joke.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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