What does it mean if you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars? You both have five dollars

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one cake say to the other? You wanna piece of me?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

David Copperfield (the magician you moron). "I will now perform my greatest act yet!" Everyone applauded as he put the screaming woman (for effects you know) into the first end of the meatgrinder, and surprisingly grinded meat came out the other side! And the woman? She disappeared... forever! *applause* Moral: BRAVO! BRAVO!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was deaf and blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A man walks into a bar. He has a nice drink and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the shark say to the boat captain? So do you prefer cards or pool?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why wasn't the white guy voted for president? He had down syndrome

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

whats the difference between a brick wall and a jew? jews wear yamakas

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two muffins are in an oven. And by muffins I mean jews. They both die a horrible death.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

If an aeroplane falls from 15,000 feet in the air and crashes into and orphanage is it possible that no-one will get hurt? No,the aeroplane will destroy the orphange hurting the property value.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock: Who's there? Guy in the doghouse. Guy in the doghouse who? WILL YOU LET ME OUT OF HERE?!?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, violets are blue, if you had a pulmonary embolism, you would be too

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A man walked into a bar, He then realised that he was likely to become the butt of a joke quite soon and subsequently left to take his kids to the park.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Two pandas walked into a bar. The bar was in china.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops