Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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What is better than a 50-inch wide plasma flat screen TV? A 51-inch wide plasma flat screen TV.

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I used to be able to walk, but then I took an arrow to the knee. It tore my acl and shattered my kneecap.

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Why did the black man enjoy KFC. Because like many foods, it contains monosodium glutamate (MSG) a flavor enhancer that makes many foods taste better. It however had nothing to do with race or cultural background.

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Heads or tails? Heads. Sorry, I'm fresh out.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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Q: Why wasn't the baby playing with his blocks? A: Because his face was stapled to the floor

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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If you play The Binding of Isaac backwards, it's about a boy who summons Satan in hell and ascends multiple floors and eventually revives him mom by sucking in tears. He eventually becomes less of a monster until going back to his home and living hapily with his mother, completely forgetting anything had ever happened.

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What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A hat.

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what did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Grggglgluglguggarglegerrrllggglge"

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What's brown and sticky? Some brown pigment mixed with something sticky like glue.

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A man walks into a bar an orders a few pints. He then goes home and brutally rapes his wife and chains his staring kids to a fencepost in the backyard along with their deceased dog named Spot.

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knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Although this is a highly improbable scenario, one would assume that, being a chicken, it did not have much of an intuitive idea as to what to do while it was stray for whatever reason in an urbanized area. Considering chickens do not harbor nearly as much of a mental capacity as it would require to even comprehend the concept of a "road" and is impervious to the idea of oncoming traffic and such, the fact that it happened to be crossing the road was in fact not even recognized by the chicken. For this reasons I deem this question unanswerable.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was at a crosswalk and the walk light was on.

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How do you starve a black man? You deny his foodstamps ~Katie&Lena&Shelbey(:

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Where would you find a dog with one leg? Possibly in a vet's surgery, or in an animal rescue home or being cared for by a loving owner.

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If the Trojan Horse was a deadly deception, is it My Lethal Phony?

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops