Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms or legs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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A homosexual walked into a bar. He orders a beer. When he holds out his credit card, the bartender says, "We do not accept credit." Upon hearing this, the homosexual reaches into his wallet and pulls out five dollars. Because it is legal tender, the bartender takes the money and gives the homosexual the change that is due. The homosexual proceeds to drink the beer. When he is finished, he walks out of the bar. Nobody is aware of his sexual orientation.

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What's the difference between an egg and a Llama? The'yre both not lamps.

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Kevin. Which? Kevin Smith or Kevin Johnson? Kevin Johnson. Oh ok, come in please.

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A man said to a performer performin in a concert,"Go break a leg!". The performer did not respond because he is perfoming.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know but some black man is starting up his deep-frier on the other side

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Q: What's Funnier than a baby spinning around a pole at 300 MPH? A: Stopping it with a shovel.

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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yo mammas so fat when she runs the world spins faster

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My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

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Whats black and flys out of a car? Pupies stuffed in a bag.

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your momma so stupid she dropped out of high school

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Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

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There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

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Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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You played so good! No, I played well. Okay??

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What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A victim of an alcohol related car accident

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Q: What did the gun say to the person. A: Bang.

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The EPA.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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