What happens when a blond walks into a bar She buys a drink

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Two cows in a field one says Moo the other says, Moo

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I read my Uncle an anti-joke. He is still wondering why it made no sense to him.

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What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

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Why did the duck turn black? an oil spill

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Why did the boy loose his hat Because he got hit by a plane

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There is a blond and a burnette in a car. The blonde is driving. What a nice use of the carpool

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There was a boy named Steven, a son of a rich business man. Steven was an interesting child though, as he always kept care to one of his possessions. That possession being a plain, old, brown box. On Steven's fourth birthday his father said he could have anything in the world he wanted, just name it. Steven said he wanted two quarters to put in his box. The father agreed and gave his son two quarters to put in his box. Every year the father would say he could have anything he wished for, and Steven just asked for two quarters. Nothing more. On Steven's 18th birthday he got into a severe car crash. The father stood over the hospital bed where Steven lay. "I can get you the best doctors in the world. They can save you, please let me get you this for your birthday!" The boy shook his head. "All I want is two quarters" Steven replied. The father was distraught. "Son, tell me why you've wanted these two quarters every year you have been alive instead of anything else in the world". The boy complied. "Fine I'll tell you." Then Steven died before he could tell the father. The End.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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Hickory dickery dock, two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck 1 and the other got away with minor injuries.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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What do you call a gay man? Homosexual

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness. Oh come on in, I would love to learn more about your religion.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding worms in your stool.

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Wanna know how to confuse a blonde? No. I wanna know which way you would prefer to die.

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Did you know that onions is the only food that makes you cry? Oh? Really? Positive. what if I threw a coconut at you're face. ...

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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roses are red violets are blue sugar is sweet and grass is green due to the fact that there is chlorophyll in it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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