How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

Why did the man Jump of a bridge? Because he got sick of his life and he wanted to die.

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

this is stupid .... yep

whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

There once was a student named Bob. Every morning he would rush to his job. But one day there was rain, He slipped in front of his train, There used to be a student named Bob.

I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

A pterodactyl walks into a bar, bartender says "What'll you have." To which the pterodactyl graciously replies "RAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR." Because pterodactyl's do not speak English.

Wood is brown...... Grass is green...... Now what color are roses?

a bunch of guys did cocain for the first time. they later died from a drug over dose.

Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

what's the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? dolphins aren't ghosts!!

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Ambulance. Ambulance who? Sir, we're going to need you to come down to the hospital, your son is dead.

Ask me if I'm a rock. Are you a rock? No.

Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

How do you cause ultimate pain to a imprisoned Jew during the holocaust? Moral: You give him an apple WITH a worm in it.

Cody went to the store. Big Floppy Donkey Dick.

Why did Sally fall off the Empore State Building? Her mother threw a refrigerator at her. -BG

Why was the boy depressed? A. because his whole family was slaughtered on the kitchen floor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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