Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

how do you kill a giraffe? shoot it

Should a pole bump an alarm?

A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

a guy fell off a roof of a mansion he died his family cried F.Y.I i have Alzheimers toilet monster

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

Boy: Hey girl if I had hand-cuffs, I’d lock myself to you right now! Girl: I would find that extremely creepy.

why did the chicken cross the road............ why dont you tell me smartass

What's 100 times worse that finding an worm in your Apple listening to Justin B. Sing! :-)

What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

Roses are red, violets are blue, my life didn't start, until I met you! :) Megan _____

Why did the white bartender kick out a black man and his Mexican friend out of the bar? It was closing time

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

Q: Why are the Black Eyed Peas named the Black Eyed Peas? A: I don't know ask them yourself.

What is the difference between menstrual blood and sand? You can't gargle sand.

What do you call cheese that isnt yours? Stolen cheese.

Wizard: If you could get any one thing in the world, what would it be son? Son: Another father that grants more wishes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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