Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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You know what a thief's kid receive on christmas? Your bike!

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Why did the man die when he hugged the pillow? He was hallucinating at the grand canyon.

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Forgiveness is what weaklings beg for, while redemption is what the strong succeed at.

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how do u get a blonde to stay away from her credit card... i dont know im blonde

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Q: Whats the difference between nude pics and your mom? A: I can wackk off to nude pics

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Did You Hear About That Mexican Who Went To College? no. Well plenty of them go to college every day. thats good to know.

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What did the facial stylist charge Jack Sparrow to get his ears pierced? A buc-an-ear!

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What did the alchoholic get for his birthday? Nothing. His alchohol abuse split up is family and now he is alone.

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Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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What did the giraffe say to the other? nothing giraffes cant talk

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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Wolfjob.

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Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

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There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

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King Triton: "As much as it pains me to lose you, Ariel, I want you to be happy with your prince..." Ariel: "So why don't you just turn Eric into a merman?" King Triton: "Good idea."

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What do you call some one in the middle of the ocean without a boat skrewed.

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Yo mama is so fat, she lost in a race to a person who had less physical mass.

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Why didn't the Irishman walk into the bar? Beacause he had killed himself the previous night as a result of his alcoholism.

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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how many pieces of wood can a lumberjack cut in a minute? three dead squrlles a hat and and half of a tree oh and a bus. and if u get in his way alot of guts spewed every where

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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