Nick Cannon

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wanna hear a joke? i dont

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Whats worse than finding a maggot in your apple? Getting Raped

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whats a mexicans favorite sport? cross counrty

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What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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What did the man say after being hit by a bus? Nothing he is now dead.

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What time will the little girl get up for school? Never, she died in her sleep.

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Why did the hunter shoot the deer? Because he was hungry and might starve to death if he didnt

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raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

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What comes after 69... Mouthwash

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What do you call a cat that plays football? Weird.

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Why did the man stop running. He was tierd

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Q: What happens when a Jew with a boner runs into a wall? A: He breaks his nose.

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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You thought i'd be telling you a joke. Turns out im not.. !! haha

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems make sense. 5

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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