What have you got there? Hitler's gas bill... Oh.. don't show him that, he'll be furious Whys that? He can't read.

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Tyler is a downer and is always negative to everybody

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What's black and white and red all over? Half of a zebra.

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A naked man walks into a bar and is promptly arrested for indecent exposure.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a short term memory Roses are red

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A dyslexic walks into church and asks the priest. "Father is there a dog."

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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why did the man have a hole in his face? because syphillis had eaten a hole in it

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What did the horse say to the man? The man woke up from his dream so he didn't know either

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Dyslexic drunk died choking on his own vimto last night

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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How many dead babies does it take to fill up a car? Dead babies should be reported to the police and not be stuffed into cars.

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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WTF? If you look at life from the right, you might just see whats left, and just then I looked down at the midget as he said "Yo whats up?" I told him, hey do you like left? He said! DAAAAAMN RIIIIIGHT! I spent a while just standing there wondering what the hell was happening into my life, it was so right it was left and wrong... NeroMetal (No fucking idea what Neronism is, I just play streetfighter V and type books that confuse people)

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Why was the ginger angry with the manager of the hardware store? His smoke detector didn’t come with a snooze button.

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If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

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America. A land where if a girl sexual harrasses a guy would be a good thing.

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Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What's black and hangs from trees in my backyard? Blackberries! -by Ross

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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