Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

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What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

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What do you call a black man driving a nice luxury sedan? A man who has, surprisingly, done very well in this economy.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bike

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yo mamas so ugly.... everyone died. the end.

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A blonde rubs a lamp hoping to find a genie that will grant her 3 wishes. It didn't happen.

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I'm so full I could stop eating.

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Roses are gay, Violets are gay, I am gay.

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What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

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what did the computer say to the tv? computers are not living there for they cannot talk

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What's green, has six legs and would kill you if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.

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what happened to the girl next door ? she was brutally murdered.

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Why was the camel sad he wasnt, camels dont have feelings

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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How do you make your mom mad? Burn down the house and eat the dog.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q. How can you tell if your arm is broken? A. Break it.

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Do you know why one side of the V formation that geese fly in is longer than the other? Because there's more geese on that side.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops