Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

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How do you kill Glenn Campbell? Stab him with a screwdriver.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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A man walks up to his boss and asks "Do you want to hear a funny joke?". His boss replied,"Yes". Before the man could finish his joke, his boss had a heart attack and died instantly. The next day, when he's in his car with his wife, he asks "You want to hear a joke?", the wife replied "Sure,". before the man could finish his joke, a car hit them and the wife died but the man happened to survive. The next day, he sat on a bench mourning, his friend walked up to him and asked, "Why are you sad?". the man answered, "Every time I try and tell a joke someone dies!", his friend said, "That's not true, just tell me the joke." "Ok" "Two Pigeons walk into a-". Before he can finish his joke his friends is kidnapped and killed. Sadly, the man walks to a ledge, jumps off and commits suicide. The End

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Pooring urine into your eyes, is a natural way to cure pink eye. Found this out this morning.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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69

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Why didn't the lawyer submit the car accident he endured to his local courthouse? He was dying of internal brain damage from the shards of glass lodged in his brain from flying through the windshield.

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what do you call a half dead black person crawling across your lawn..............................stop laughing and reload

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Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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Why did the cat cross the road? he wanted to be a docter.

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Bob is asleep. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT BOB

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im trying to thing of a good joke...oh wait i got one but only one... ok ready?...oh wait...i forgot it again

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Why did the hipster get burned? Because he was a volunteer fireman.

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What do you call a Mexican with a lawnmower? The guy I'm thinking of is named Pedro. He works hard and takes care of his family.

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I'm not sure if you share videos, but this is a great anti-joke vid. Thank you for the consideration. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHydNGR9rrg

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? Well it depends how many of them can figure out the staircase.

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Why is the horny toad named that way? Because its a misnomer of the horned lizard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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