- Anti Joke

Why was the little girl not allowed to see the pirate movie? It was sold out.

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Mustang? I don't have a Mustang in my garrage.

A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

Why was Helen Keller such a bad driver? Cause she was blind, def, and mute. Thus making it difficult to drive.

Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

Why did the black man go to the back of the bus? The only unoccupied seats were back there.

what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

You had better thumbs up this post.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

How do you confuse a blond? Paint your self green and throw forks at her.

What do 2 arabs say to each other in a super-market? For those of you who don't know your history, the true Lebanese are Phonecians. As such, they are not Ishmaelites/Arabs. They are from the house of Jaffeth. the youngest of Noah's sons. Arabs are from the house of Shem (i.e., Shemites/Semites), the oldest of Noah's sons, and Hamm, Noah's middle son who fathered Cannah with his mother. Haggar, the woman with whom Abraham fathered Ishmael, was a Cannonite. As such, Ishmael, the father of the Arabs, is half Semetic and half Hammetic. The true Lebanese are neither. Furthermore, the first non-Jewish Christian church was established with the Gentiles (the children of Jaffeth) in Lebanon. And then the shop blew up.

How many pastry chefs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. It's a fairly simple job.

Why didn't the lolipop taste like anything to the boy beacuse he was aborted

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

What did the father give to his son with terminal cancer for his 5th birthday? Nothing the kids going to die anyway

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

I love you, you love me. Barney is fat and not entertaining.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

What does a blonde say when she walks into a bar? Ow

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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